We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
