Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sarcasm needs its own font
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
