why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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