Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
