I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
