Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
