I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
