I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
