Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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