i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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