You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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