This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
