Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
