apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was like eating out sand paper
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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