this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
worst night to have a conscience
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Success! We fucked roommates!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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