I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
