Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
