so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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