Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
