Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
