the new term for farting is butt boxing.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
