"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
