Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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