No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
