I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
