Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
