So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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