i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
