I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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