My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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