Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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