Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
