so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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