His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
