i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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