Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize