This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You had me at "let me see your balls"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
