it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
