i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
