im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
