Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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