A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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