yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
