I got chris browned last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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