i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
