I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
