Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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