At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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