i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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