I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
