I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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